Recently, it came to light that Mariah Carey sold the 35-carat engagement ring her former fiancé gave her for a cool $2.1 million.
While yours might not have the same financial value—and hopefully you don’t end up in the same situation—it certainly begs the question: Does someone have the right to make that kind of profit instead of returning it to the person who proposed?
Well, it’s complicated.
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Legally speaking, it depends where you live. Most states—including New York—have decided the ring should be returned to the giver. The “no-fault rule” was embraced after the 1997 case of Heiman vs. Parrish (in short, a man broke up with his fiancé and asked for the $9,033 ring back—and she refused). It was there that the Kansas Supreme Court ruled that no matter who broke the engagement, the ring should be returned to the donor, citing that “the issue of who ended the relationship is not determinative of the ownership of the ring.”
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But that’s not true for all US states. Montana classifies the ring “as an unconditional gift.” Thus, the receiver of the ring should get to keep it.
On the other hand, several states (California and Texas included) have adopted a middle-of-the-road approach—that the recipient of the ring should return it, unless it’s the giver of the ring who called off the engagement.
Realistically, it will depend on your situation. Relationships are messy—and broken engagements are even messier. If you find yourself in the unfortunate position of owning a ring that no longer symbolizes a promise of marriage, and you’re unsure if you should keep it or not, research what the law is in your state. Most importantly, listen to your gut. If you’re the one who called off the engagement, the right thing would probably be to return it. If your partner called it off, you both could probably successfully make an argument as to why you should get to keep it over the other.
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Either way, we wouldn’t recommend selling it before getting your former partner’s blessing.