Moving on after a marriage has ended is no easy feat. While there is no way to fully prepare for the emotions that will arise once you make the decision to begin dating after divorce, it is important to be mindful, reflective, and patient with yourself throughout the process. As a relationship expert, I always advise that people dating after divorce do the following:
- Assess The Situation
- Let Go Of The Past
- Go After What You Want
- Set Healthy Boundaries
1. Assess the Situation
Before you jump back into the dating scene, allow yourself some time to evaluate your own relationship “deal breakers” and priorities. Contrary to what you may think, these can and do change with time and experience. Also, be aware of the patterns that you find yourself repeating time and time again. In order to make changes in our lives, we must be willing to examine our thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
What are your thoughts about your marriage with your ex? How do those thoughts make you feel? If you experience these feelings while with someone new that you are dating, would you handle anything differently? The answers to these questions may lead you to a deeper understanding of your personal relationship style, preferences and help you decipher whether you are ready to date anyone seriously.
2. Let Go Of The Past
When preparing yourself to take this next step in your life, it is important to embrace the opportunity to live in the present, instead of the past. While holding onto the keepsakes that remind us of the past can be tempting, they can sometimes hold us back from appreciating and receiving the many new gifts and experiences life has to offer now. The thought of letting go of jewelry such as engagement rings, diamond wedding sets, bracelets and other items can bring some very strong emotions to the surface, particularly if these items had incredible significance at one point in your life.
Removing these mementos from our everyday lives is important, particularly if you are looking to return to the dating scene. WP Diamonds has developed a simple process with you in mind so you can sell your jewelry worry-free and ultimately gain the satisfaction of knowing you have taken a huge step forward in your life. Relieving yourself of the emotional burden that your jewelry may carry can initiate the fresh start you need to begin again. Get your free price quote for your engagement ring or other jewelry.
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3. Go After What (And Who) You Want
Knowing what you want and why you want it while dating is essential if you want to achieve a happy, satisfying social life. Be honest with yourself about what you are hoping to accomplish by dating after your divorce. Whether you are hoping to find a long-term partner and everlasting love or you are looking to have some commitment-free fun and excitement, it is important to be clear with yourself and the people you are dating (in time) with what your intentions are today and in the future.
As tempting as it may be, do not use your ex as your measuring stick to determine who you will and will not date. While seeking out a date that could be your ex’s identical twin is certainly not ideal, neither is dating someone you view to be their exact opposite. Instead of focusing on the “type” of person you would like to date, hone in on how you want to feel when you are interacting with the people you choose to spend your time with. By completely removing your ex from the equation and instead making your own preferences your north star, you can forge an incredibly successful dating life.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries
Unfortunately, judgment from family members and friends can rear its ugly head prior to, during and after your divorce. Once you have made the decision to begin dating again, your loved ones may freely share their thoughts and concerns on the matter. In fact, your inner circle may not agree with the way that you date or the individuals you choose to go out with. While our loved ones are often well meaning, it is important to remember that who and how you choose to date is completely up to you. Do not fall into the trap of trying to please everyone else while neglecting your own needs and desires. Instead, seize this opportunity to charter some new territory for yourself and set healthy boundaries with friends, family and your ex.
The real work when dating post-divorce is loving and honoring yourself through the process. By seeking to create happiness and fulfillment within yourself, healthy and satisfying relationships will bloom in every facet of your life. Creating a dating lifestyle that you love takes time, effort, and a great sense of humor. Take it slow, be open to new experiences and the potential of an even brighter future ahead.
Here’s to new beginnings!
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