Life after divorce can initially feel difficult to navigate. There are a plethora of emotional and financial implications. You may be facing difficult choices such as whether or not you should consider downsizing and decluttering after divorce.
We take a look at how to navigate life after divorce as well as the benefits of decluttering and downsizing.
1. Accept that divorce is not easy
Divorce is the end result of what oftentimes is a long road of unhappiness, anger, and disappointment. Presumably, you or your spouse made the choice to separate because you weren’t getting along. Either one or both of you may have felt unappreciated, not listened to, that your needs weren’t being met, or maybe there was infidelity.
No matter how you got here, it is hard not to struggle with the resentment which can live on, as well as blame, both of your partner and yourself, for the marriage not succeeding.
The bottom line: getting divorced is not easy. Moving on can present another challenge. Your hopes and dreams being dashed can leave you reeling and feeling like you have lost out on everything across the board. From losing touch with friends and family members to the possible loss of where you are currently living, holding on to feeling good about yourself can be daunting.
That’s because one of the biggest losses you are going through is one of identity. You are going from being part of a couple and the “we,” to being solo on your own as a “me.”
It can be a Molotov cocktail of emotions: insecurity, self-blame, and self-doubt that you made a bad marriage choice in the beginning, or that you stayed too long, and how can you trust yourself to make a good decision in the future.
All of this can lead to a loss of self-esteem as well. The good news is that as hard as it is there is also relief that you are free from the unhappiness and stress you were living in, and can now start to shape your new identity going forward.
2. Benefits of decluttering and downsizing after divorce
One of the blocks that can get in your way of moving on is holding on to your anger. It is hard for everyone to let go of it, but letting go of physical reminders of your past has both emotional and financial benefits.
Benefits of downsizing
Emotional benefits:
Moving into your own, new space, no matter how big or small is a big step. Starting over in a new home is a symbolic move and can help you put the divorce behind you.
Financial benefits:
For many, the financial implications of divorce can add another layer of stress and difficulty to the process. The reality of separating from your partner is that finances can be strained, which makes holding on to valuable goods linked to this relationship even less desirable and practical. Funding a divorce process and your newly single life is a priority.
As such, downsizing and thereby reducing rent or mortgage costs can reduce your financial burden.
Benefits of decluttering
Emotional benefits:
A simple start to ringing in your new independence can be in letting go the engagement ring you no longer wear to transform it into something you will. Selling your old engagement ring, steeped in memories of a broken relationship, can be a step towards the new you.
Choosing an item that can symbolize a new start helps with the healing process. Selling old and buying new jewelry is just one of the many places you can begin to shed your past and start to forge your new future.
Avoid holding on to certain items for sentimentality, as they can keep you stuck in the negative feelings attached to them. Now is the chance to rid yourself of the pieces you never would have chosen, or didn’t like to start with. Replace them with something that is exactly what you want.
While this is a smaller decision than some of the big ones you’ve been facing, it can become an opportunity to build up your confidence. By knowing that you can define who you are through your self-expression and begin to trust your own judgment again. You no longer need your spouse’s approval. With this new exercising of personal freedom comes a fresh start that will raise your self-esteem and help you feel good about yourself.
Financial benefits:
Extra income generated by selling luxury jewelry, watches or handbags can be put towards any divorce costs you may have.
3. How to Declutter
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