Divorce shifts the way in which any individual lives their life. Although divorce can certainly lead to a happier future, happiness has to be something you prioritize and work towards. Instead of allowing your divorce to generate a cycle of negative emotions, it is important to prioritize your own happiness and not allow the divorce to consume you.
Remember: divorce does not define you or your future.
After juggling divorce lawyers and maybe even the prospect of being a single parent, you survived your divorce. Now is time to put the divorce behind you and begin building a brand new life for yourself. In order to rebuild your life, here are some tips on what not do after a divorce.
What not to do after divorce:
- Continuously allow yourself to be bitter or feel sorry for yourself
- Focus on the past
- Let yourself get into financial difficulty
Don’t feel sorry for yourself
It’s difficult after a challenging life upheaval such as divorce not to feel sorry for yourself, at least from time to time. It is completely normal and expected for you to feel disappointed or angry with your situation. The key is to let this feeling manifest itself in the early stages of divorce, instead of letting it dwell.
After the first year of divorce, which is usually the most testing, you need to ensure that any negative or bitter emotions you have are put aside. If not, you risk falling into a cycle of negative emotions which will not allow you to move on.
Whether married your high school sweetheart or were married for not a long time, you will be dealing with lots of challenging emotions. Be sure to turn to your close friends and family for emotional support.
No matter who was right or wrong or whatever happened for your marriage to end, acceptance will allow you to find peace within yourself to move on. You need to find happiness in yourself before you start looking for a new relationship, so letting go of any negative emotions you have had is crucial.
Don’t focus on the past
You cannot go back in time to change anything in the past, which is why it is so important not to relive it in your head. This will only cause you further pain and frustration. Avoid social media if this is a trigger for you. The more time you spend focusing on the past, the less time you have to think about and plan for the future.
The future is a very exciting place with endless possibilities but you are solely responsible for making sure that you make the very best of it. You may have ambitions that your previous marriage did not allow you to fulfill or places you’ve always wanted to visit.
Now is the time to plan for these and make them happen. Prioritizing making your future self happy is absolutely key to maintaining a positive perspective post divorce. Whether you want to start dating again or start a new career, focus on what brings you happiness.
Don’t let yourself get into financial difficulty
There is no denying that divorce does change anyone’s financial situation. The same cumulative income will now have to be shared across two households and you may find yourself overseeing finances that you were not before. For example, perhaps your long term partner had always dealt with rent/mortgage and utility bills.
Following a divorce it is key to reassess your finances and see where you can cut down on spending. You may also want to look into selling some of your possessions, either to start afresh in your new life or because you now need to sell on your investments.
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